the most romantic words a guy could ever say to a girl he loves.
"
I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together, and always remember
Whether happy or sad or whatever
We'll still love each other, forever and always
Forever and always, forever and always
"
"
i've always wondered why dont NUS have a campus guide application using global positioning system. i always thought its the role of NUS's SOC. i never dreamt or expect it'll be my FYP. my life "ROCKS" big time now. (: gps, C language,please be kind to me from now on. i just love how the universe works, its either everything is a lie or the universe is slow in responding or maybe its just ME.
- feeling:
cranky
Love's to Blame - Joel & Luke
Time and time
I've thought through it all, how we loved and laughed
And how we fought each other, pushing one another
To be somebody else
And Time and time
I've wrestled my thoughts, uncertain if the end was right or wrong
And whether we still should be together
Or with somebody else
Our last memory
She had water in her eyes
She cried, stay with me
And asked how can this be love if you are leaving me
But darling love's to blame
And I can't see you right now
Cause my heart just can't take it
Can't be near you right now
Cause i know you're no longer mine
I can't see you
It makes me ache that we had to break
That even though I knew your heart so well
We're strangers, in different places
Though we live a mile apart
My best friend's gone
My world's have be torn
Won't ever share a name never be one
But I will always remember the years we spent in love
I still think of you
I pray that you are safe
I'm still missing you
But has to be this way, cause I'm not right for you
And that's why loves to blame
And i can't see you right now
Cause my heart just can't take it
Can't be near you right now
Cause i know you're no longer mine
And i can't see you right now
Cause my heart just can't fake it
Can't be near you right now
Cause i know you're no longer mine
And i can't see you, no i can't see you
I just can't see you, right now
But maybe time will heal our hearts
And maybe after time you'll understand
That I said goodbye cause I love you
And i can't see you right now
Cause my heart just can't take it
Can't be near you right now
Cause i know you're no longer mine
And i can't see you right now
Cause my heart just can't fake it
Can't be near you right now
Cause i know you're no longer mine
And i can't see you., no i can't see you
I just can't see you, right now
No i can't see you, i just can't see you
I just can't see you, right now
And love's to blame
"there's nothing quite like the feeling when you're listening to a song written by someone you don't know, whom you've never met but somehow manages to describe exactly how you felt at a particular moment in your life..
"if you ever had a broken heart, you're about to remember it now.."
- place:Through my 'touch'
Just like how we use to write in primary school, I'm going to write about my grandmother, one whom I truly adore.
On the way home from dinner, I spotted a group of Grams around my grandmother's age at a void deck. I can't help but notice them. They converse so well with their spot on dialect accent, which you might not be able to find these days without people having to mesh a little english/chinese in between. Their wrinkled faces lit up with their smiles. It is so heart warming, it made me want to just go home, call out "ah ma" and ask her about her day. I'll then start telling her about my day in dialect, study her wrinkled face and guess the story behind all the scars and freckles. Spot those oil burns she had which cooking for us over the years. I'll also cup her round cheeks with my hands and watch her smile with those watery eyes and a missing tooth on the top left. and I will flash her a smile too.
I feel so blessed to have my grandparents stay with me since I was just a little kid. My grandmother took great care of us. My sisters and I were all very little from the last time I can remember. I would always run to her and hug her legs very tightly whenever there's a thunderstorm or Mr. Garanguni came -.- and she would sooth me with a song or a chant. which now sounds more like poem to me. She would always smile at me and say there's nothing to worry about. Pray to thunder grandmother and thunder grandfather to protect you. ..hmmm.. Well, I was still very young then! And I would definitely sing that to my children or grandchildren next time. I also used to follow my grandmother wherever she went when i was still relatively free ( Kindergarden ). I accompanied her to the market, back then she was still able to walk so we would walk to Serangoon Central wet market to buy groceries. that was a very long time back. Imagine now, I wouldn't even walk to Serangoon MRT Station from my house. It shows how hardworking my grandmother was. After groceries shopping, she would gather with her friends at the void deck for gossip + chit chat session. Well, come to think about it, thats all they can do at their age. And the funny thing here is, I can memorize their topics very well. Because, it will only revolve around those few topics. they would boast how successful their sons are and they would repeat their stories again and again. :) We used to have round tables and seats at our void deck which could accommodate more people, so it would be crowded. But I guess our government don't want people to gather around to chat that much, so they reduced the seats to just 4 individual seats at my block, which totally discouraged gatherings because there can only be 4 people gathering there at a single time. -.- Anyways, I would sit down with them and listen to their conversation for an hour or so before going home. I loved those sessions. They would be talking in dialects and most of the time I wouldn't understand, but I started learning then. I listen to their words and I would ask my grandmother. I'm really glad I could learn my dialect from my grandmother. Its a pity that a lot of the younger generations now do not understand their own dialects at all. I wonder how they communicate with their grandparents. If my grandparents were still around, I would definitely learn my dialect and talk to them all day. but time passes, you seldom see some of them at the void deck, it usually means they werent able to walk or.. it is sad to see the reduction of these people whom i sit and listen to always everyday of my childhood days.
Age caught up with her too and soon she wasn't able to handle the strain of walking to the market and carry those heavy groceries home. She even fell once. ): So we hired a maid and she had to minimize her walking then. Well, grandparents + maids = choas. My grandmother loved the first maid but ever since she left, all subsequent maids did not manage to fulfill her demands and my grandmother would complain about the maid all day. Hahaha. My grandmother was so cute. But very soon after, she wasn't able to walk around the house on her own without falling. ): As stubborn as all old people are, she refused to use walking aids. However, that didn't remain a choice for her for long ):. I am still able to remember seeing her struggling with the walking aid. Inching forward slowly. I remembered vividly, the agony on her face with beads of sweat around the corners, but whenever she looked at me, she would smile at me. |':
Even though she had trouble walking, she had always taken great care of me. whenever I fell ill, I could see a blurred vision of her face, feel her rough palm on my forehead detecting fever, walking slowly over to get a blanket for me and even made sure it covered my tummy before she would go rest herself. She would even buy chinese medicine and brew them for long hours just for me.
I recalled it was the pretty bad times and we had no maid anymore but my grandmother needed assistance 'cause she had a high risk of falling at home and nobody's around in the afternoon to take care of her. Some suggested the old folks home. I remembered clearly, my mother's conversation to my dad. the moment my mother stepped into the old folks home, she came right out and made up her mind to do whatever it takes to not send my grandmother in there. she accounted, "there were all sadness on their faces". So we hired a maid with what we had then. I am so glad my mother made that choice, even though she and my grandmother didn't really see eye to eye (which is very common mother-daughter-in-laws relationship) but my mom still loves my grandmother. and she always say old is gold, love grandma.
Every afternoon during the weekends, I could always hear her calling out for us to wake us up. Even faking that she was hungry just to get us out of our bed and when she sees us, she would flash a smile so sweet as if she knew we found out she was lying. By then, she was bed ridden and she couldn't move around a lot. So she would constantly call out for us just to see our faces. I know all she wanted was company so I would sit on her bed and talk to her and feel her face. comb her hair. pat her to sleep. whenever i can.
then one day , She fell bad and had to be admitted to the hospital. Everything was looking good and fine and she was due to be discharged but was requested to remain behind at the very last minute. The day after, she passed away to heart failure due to a viral infection. It hit us hard. We weren't ready to say goodbye. We were waiting for her to come back home to recuperate. I was looking forward to her coming back home. But instead, she left us.
It has been almost a year. And I miss her dearly.
So my note today, not to take anyone for granted. You really wouldn't know when they'll leave you and when you find that huge hole in your heart, it will be too late. she was the last of my grandparents, one who i had the most memories with. for those who still have their grandparents with them, you are very blessed. i miss my grandmother very much but she's not coming back. neither would i hear her call my christian name in the most amusing way once more. i always feel old is never junk. maybe thats why i love vintage merc too. but thats not the point. the point is love your family. :) for those who are fortunate to still have their grandparents, i wish them good health and longevity.
- feeling:
sad
Boundless opportunities await me out there. There's so much I want to do with my life. But Is it possible to fulfill my dreams. My boss is a living example of success. He wanted to be able to work for Autodesk 10years back. And now he's a product manager after just 4 years with Autodesk. I know he's been pushing me, maybe he feels I could achieve more.
I want to go Germany for masters. Get a job there at Mercedes Benz research or design team. I want to go Italy if possible. Be part of the Ferrari team. I want to be able to build a car I call my own, and it will be able to compete with other huge names in the automotive industry for one of the best cars manufactured in history. Be the first car manufacturer in Singapore. Be interviewed by Jeremy Clarkson on top gear. Be an F1 racer. Maybe the first female F1 racer. Spend the remaining of my life building a car that meets all my expectations ; speed, looks, comfort. And it will be the only one in the world and it'll be passed on generation after generation, an heirloom.
Step one: get my degree.
Germany, Italy, F1 here I come~
- place:Through my 'touch'
i just hope there would be minimal lost of lives.
I don't know if there's a word for people who are addicted to bass but this is awe-a-whole-lot. One month of dieting whee~
- place:Through my 'touch'
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